Help Wanted but Not Needed
“They’re ready for you Mr. Bless!”
Joe promptly rose from his chair in the office lobby of a potential employer and rushed towards the reception desk.
He nervously adjusted his tie and shuffled the stack of papers in his hand consisting of a painstakingly formatted resume and various references. Joe had been unemployed for almost a year, and this was his first in-person interview. He was at the point of desperation.
Shortly after graduating, Joe joined a large tech firm who recruited him directly from his college campus. He attended their unpaid summer internship program, performed extensive hiring and onboarding tasks just to be abruptly laid off less than 6 months after signing his offer letter.
Without the convenience of college recruitment and career fairs, Joe Bless was back in the job market with only a few months of work experience and a very expensive software engineering degree. Fortunate for Joe, he was able to move back home with his parents to save money and devote all his time and energy to seeking employment. All the company research, online applications, and recruiter interviews were a full-time job in itself. It was exhausting work with no pay.
Joe was relieved to finally get in front of an employer to show off his proficiencies and work ethic. It was nearly impossible to actually speak to employers without first prevailing the hurdles of resume filtering algorithms, fake job postings and severe lack of human interaction.
His father repeatedly informed Joe that he needed to get face time with managers to get hired. However, despite numerous visits to company headquarters, Joe could never get past the front desk as was constantly directed to apply online. This rarely amounted to anything other than a soulless email saying the position had already been filled.
Joe subscribed to all the recruitment services and stalked the online job posting websites. He submitted dozens of online applications with the same redundant questionnaires and document requests. After finally getting a formulated response, he was directed to take a multiple-choice proficiency quiz. Sometimes he would be instructed to record himself answering a list of questions, as if he were in a real interview. Putting on a tie and eloquently answering questions in front of his computer webcam was embarrassing and dehumanizing.
He could feel the judgement from the artificial intelligence program, knocking points from his score for every stutter or pause in his answers. Was this the future of recruitment, or just some dystopian, time wasting, phony nonsense that only rewarded the applicants who could best cheat the algorithm.
Joe’s friend who worked in recruiting gave him tips to beat the system and better his chances. He instructed Joe to copy the job requirements from the listing into his resume or cover letter and hide them with white font to get the most hits on his application. He also gave Joe the rundown on appropriate responses and behavior needed to trick the AI interviewer into moving his application to a real person. After lots of practice, the scheme finally worked and led to phone interview with an actual corporate recruiter.
What came next was a series of inquisitions into Joe’s personal life and professional experience. He consented every background check and drug test while securing and uploading all educational transcripts, prior employment information and even medical records.
Joe gave bogus answers to every probing question and cheated his way through each proficiency quiz and case study assignment. He was willing to sacrifice every moral to gain meaningful employment as his patience wore thin and his debts bloated.
Eventually the fruits of his quest for labor had finally been realized leading to today’s demanding but highly anticipated three-part interview in the company’s office.
Joe lamented the challenging journey of self-degradation to get him to this point, but he was thrilled to finally speak to his potential new managers as he flounced towards the reception desk.
“Hello! I’m Joe Bless, it’s nice to meet you…” Joe looked down at the name tag displayed on the reception desk and back up to the unenthused woman staring blankly at her computer screen. “Claudia!” exclaimed Joe as stretched out his open hand to greet her.
Without looking up from her screen Claudia pointed to the door behind her and said “Yeah, yeah Nadia will see you in conference room B. Just wait for the Microsoft Teams call and hit accept on the tablet to begin the interview.”
Joe deflated as he dropped his outstretched hand and asked, “Teams call? I thought this was an in-person interview.” Claudia annoyingly looked up from her screen. Joe could see the YouTube video in the reflection of her glasses as she irritatingly emphasized. “Nadia is working from home today! Just answer the call in conference room B, and Hadia will meet you there for your second interview.”
Joe turned away from the desk and sauntered towards the conference room. He reminded himself that most corporate jobs were hybrid format, and he could potentially benefit from the same remote work schedule. Just as he entered the conference room, the giant TV on the back wall erupted with loud ringing. Joe rushed to answer it and was startled to see Nadia’s face fill the humungous screen. He quickly situated himself in front of the webcam and smiled to greet his interviewer.
Nadia began the interaction. “Hello Mr. Bless, thank you for meeting me over a call, I didn’t feel like sitting in traffic today.” Her voiced boomed through the speaker in the center of table. Joe could not find the volume control and was forced to recoil each time she spoke.
Joe observed her disheveled appearance as it was clear she had recently woken up. He also noticed her strange resemblance to the receptionist.
Nadia answered his inquiry before he could ask, “I am not related to Claudia! Everyone asks me that because we have a very diverse workplace, and we happen to be from the same country. Anyway, you applied to the software engineering position, but I am simply the HR Manager, so DON’T ask me any technical questions that should be saved for your other interviews. I am just supposed to get to know you better and answer any questions about the office admin and work environment.”
Before Joe could get a word out, Nadia rounded off three consecutive questions regarding his past work experiences, expectations for the future, and how he would handle a tricky situation with another employee.
Joe had already answered these same repetitive questions in multiple AI interviews, so he happily recounted his predetermined answers like a programed machine. Nadia seemed uninterested with his responses but listened and took notes.
Before Joe could ask any questions back, Nadia aggressively moved to end the conversation. She thanked Joe for his time and told him to wait for his next interview with Hadia. The call ended and Joe waited silently for his next interviewer to arrive. Ten minutes passed by with no arrival. Then 15, and then 20. Joe became frustrated and paced the conference room. Finally, he couldn’t take anymore. As he reached for the exit just as the door handle turned, and in walked his second interviewer who looked strangely similar to the first.
“Hi Joe, I hoped you had a good conversation with Nadia. Before you ask, no we are not related, we just hail from the same country. We have a very diverse office.” She smiled and shook Joe’s hand without apologizing for being late.
Joe ignored the reverberation and tardiness; he was just happy to interview with a real person. As he shook her hand, Joe noticed Hadia’s senior class ring and mentioned that they had the same alma mater. Hadia lit up with excitement and asked about his campus familiarity. The pair exchanged stories about their university years and shared experiences. Joe was delighted to establish good rapport with his interviewer, but she would not stop talking about herself. Joe had many questions about the job but couldn’t get passed Hadia’s monologue. Eventually Nadia apologized for taking over the interview and attributed it to the lack of human interaction in her primarily remote work environment.
Joe didn’t manage to ask a single question before Hadia hastily ended the interview by saying. “Well this was great Joe. I really hope you get the job, but unfortunately, it’s not up to me as your last interviewer has the final say”. Joe questioned to himself what the point of the first two interviews was if the boss had the only determination. Joe was left to sit in the room by himself but not before taking a peek at the rest of the office. It was an immense piece of commercial real estate although it was heavily underutilized as it was completely empty.
Joe began to seriously doubt to whole corporate system and became skeptical of this company’s competence. Joe’s inner turmoil was interrupted by a heavily knock on the door. The IT Director was a heavy-set man who inherently commanded respect as entered the room and gestured at Joe to sit down without a word.
Joe sat down and opened his mouth to introduce himself, but the Director interrupted his greeting with very direct proclamation.
“I won’t waste your time and give it to you straight Joe.” His voice was powerful, but his demeanor was apologetic.
“Unfortunately for you, the team has decided to outsource this position to a third-party contractor. Their rates are substantially cheaper than a full salaried employee and we wouldn’t be responsible for training or providing any additional benefits. I hope you understand this was purely a business decision.”
Joe sank his chair with utter defeat. It was all for nothing. A complete and total waste of his time. He had to say something. He looked right in the Director’s eyes and declared. “Sir, I have to ask. Why go through trouble of posting the job and interviewing applicants if you intended to outsource the work in the first place?”
The Director could feel the pain in Joe’s question and reluctantly responded with sincerity. “Well Joe, it is company policy that we prioritize sourcing a full-time employee. We have to post the job, filter through applicants, and give a three-part interview with different managers before we can follow through with outsourcing the work to a contractor.”
Joes face became red with embarrassment. His shoulders trembled with the realization that most, if not all the jobs he had applied to were totally fake. How could he ever gain meaningful employment in this ridiculous market?
The Director became concerned by Joe’s reaction but continued anyway. “To be completely honest Joe, I don’t think our hiring practices are right, that’s why I am telling you now instead of getting your hopes up before we send you another soulless rejection email.”
“I wouldn’t get frustrated Joe. You should appreciate this good interview practice and continue your job search by getting internal references from friends and relatives. That’s how most of the people here got their job. Good luck to you sir!”